so, i've been feeling convicted for awhile, but like all good christians (ha!), I ignored "it." i suppressed "it." i said, "i don't need to do 'that'."
what is "it?" "it" has been the Holy Spirit pricking me some time now to fast. i've never fasted. i've only heard of fasting in relation to food. with having a little nursling, i knew i couldn't do that. and before that, i was pregnant with the little one, so i couldn't do it then either. God kept showing me that i was making excuses for why i couldn't fast. i said these are legit excuses/reasons after all, right? he has shown me in many different ways lately that fasting is not just in relation to food. it could be anything. and specifically, idols of the heart were a reason to fast. so he's been pricking me about a few things to fast from.
i'm not even sure all that fasting entails, but He has encouraged me to get started & He will show me.http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2016:9&version=ESV
so yesterday, i told my husband i needed to be challenged. i wrote out my challenge. i wrote specifically and realistically what it looked like to me. so my challenge(s) for february are these:
*internet:
-facebook fast for the month
-emails checked once/day (this is how i update/schedule some of myles' appt & larry gets info re: plumbing jobs & joshua's men)
-no surfing unless it is re: maya's school
-blogging would be once/month? not sure on this one because i don't normally blog a lot anyway.
*serve somewhere/somehow for someone twice/month
*when schooling maya, abstain from answering texts/calls unless imperative
so, i'm excited to see what God will do just in the upcoming month as i fast from these things that can overtake me, and change the way i handle the others. these are things that i've been probed to fast from or challenged to change my habits. my husband is holding me accountable and you can too. :-)
what God has already shown me today:
*i don't hunger & thirst for righteousness, so i am not satisfied. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+5%3A6&version=NIV (thanks lauren duke.)
*i have not been content in my circumstances. (see above)
*i have not had joy. (see above)
*i have not been cultivating a heart of thankfulness.
*i've had an anxious disposition. "noise in my thoughts constantly"
*i cannot obtain joy & peace on my own or from my cirucumstances, only from Him. He counts me worthy to be in my current trials. (thanks to a dear friend's note i received in the mail today).
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans%205:1-5&version=NIV
He also used someone dear to my heart to show me my sinful heart. long story short, this person asked me why God had this particular trial to keep repeating in their life. they keep running to the same sin. my answer was this: because He wants you to run to Him & not to it. (you can fill in the blank for your "it") ummm, yeah that was good for me. He showed me things that i run to instead of Him.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm%2050:15&version=ESV
maybe these things seem elementary. maybe they are. it's been good on this first day of fasting & such to be reminded of His promises & truth.
and yes, i did sign onto facebook this eve to let people know i am fasting for february, so that you won't think i'm ignoring you. does that qualify as "fear of man"? well, that's something i'm working on too. :-)
i plan to journal more this month & then i'll blog to update.
pray for me.
if anyone has any other fasting tips, let me know.
are you fasting?
or being challenged?
