I haven't blogged for a couple of weeks so I asked Maya what I should blog about. She suggested that I blog about her tooth that she just lost today. Hmmmm...what to say?! She actually tolerated it really well, no tears or obnoxious screaming. Her description of the event, "Tell them that when you pulled my tooth with a string, it started bleeding. So I got a rag. And I didn't cry or anything. That's it."
As she made the suggestion for blogging, I thought I could write a little about the cool things I'm learning as a mom. Not because I am a new mom, but I am newly a stay-at-home momma. It's been a struggle at times for me. After working some sort of job outside of the home for nearly 20 years, I was thrust into this new role. I don't always understand it. Maybe most realize that, but I didn't until I began doing this a mere 6 months ago. Just realized that by using the terms "thrust into..." that could be misconstrued as a bad thing. Not bad, just different & shocking & awesome too!
It really is cool to be able to watch your kids do different things & be able to experience the changes with them.
Let me explain...for a long time, I had often felt guilty for the things I missed out or the ways I thought I messed up (& probably did) with Maya. I was working full time & a single mom too. This is not to tell you so you'll pity me, but just to let you know just how sufficient God's grace really is. Even though I made sinful choices, God still was so gracious to save me & now teach me lessons about those guilty feelings. I often think of this verse & I like the NASB version best: Psalm 32: 5 I acknowledged my sin to You, And my iniquity I did not hide; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD”; And You forgave the guilt of my sin. Another verse that I've read many times before, but really hit me a couple days ago (when reading the NKJB version): Lamentations 3: 21 This I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. 22 Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. 23 They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.
I was just so taken aback by the fact that because of His mercies, we are not CONSUMED! I don't think I had ever read this version before. That was such good news to me & is really helping when I feel overwhelmed about other things.
I also was just overwhelmed (in a good way) with thankfulness today as I was the one able to pick up my sleeping babe from his nap. And also that he was being super snuggly when he woke up. That doesn't happen much anymore since he's learned to pull himself up and cruise. And it's so cute that he hides his sweet little face behing something or will bend down & then "pop up" so you'll play peek-a-boo with him. And....I just could go on and on.....
And now to think about a third one joining us....that scares me sometimes when I think about it. "I'm going to be a mommy of three, Lord willing." Exciting too!
So, I never really touched on the struggles of staying home. I'll have to leave that for another post. As I am reading this back, I am so thankful that God put things in perspective for me. I think I'll come back & read this when I feel like I'm having an overwhelming day or just starting to pity the fact that I don't get to go to work to hang out w/ "big people." But for today, I choose joy. And I'm praying that God will remind me once again why I have reason to choose joy everyday, even when "I" think life is hard.
